everyone has that one celebrity where no matter how shitty of a day you’re having just seeing their face or hearing their voice makes you smile and for that split second you forget about your reality and are taken away to that made up world in your head where it’s just you and them
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
You know why women often say “nothing’s wrong” when something is definitely bothering them
It’s because men have been belittling, minimizing and mocking our emotions forever
And we are socialized to be as passive and undemanding and selfless as possible, and not to run any risk of bothering or angering a man lest he abandon or hurt us It’s not passive aggression, it is fear
im in one of those periods in my life where i cant focus on anything i cant finish an assignment i cant listen to one song for more than 5 seconds i cant sit through a tv show episode i cant finish a book i cant write a story
all i can do is stare blankly at the wall and wish i had something to do but everything i could do or want to do is just supremely unsatisfying
HAHAHA HOLY SHIT WE WERE LOOKING AT PICTURES OF SURGERIES IN CLASS AND ALL THE GUYS WERE HOOTING AT THE SLICED BREAST ONES AND THEN THE TEACHER SWITCHED TO A PENIS PIC WHERE IT WAS CUT OPEN AND SOME 300LB JOCK DOUCHEBAG FAINTED RIGHT OUT OF HIS CHAIR BOYS ARE WEAK BOYS ARE FUCKING WEAK
One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.
“Before the awards, the producers revealed, DeGeneres had told a couple of stars like Streep that she’d be coming into the audience to play with them. “But nobody really knew anything,” Zadan said. “A couple of people knew Ellen was going to come out and talk to them. Meryl said, ‘Great, let’s have fun.’ But it was all improvised to a degree. When Ellen was planning the selfie, she thought it would be Meryl, and maybe Julia [Roberts]. I don’t think she anticipated that all those stars would get out of their seats and surround them.” In fact, in rehearsal, with DeGeneres’ writers sitting in for the stars, the bit was blocked out on the assumption that Streep would take the shot, although ultimately Bradley Cooper volunteered.
DeGeneres also masterminded the pizza boy gag. “When Ellen said she wanted to do it, we said we’d hire an actor, but she said, ‘No, no, no. You’re not hiring an actor. I want a real pizza delivery person,’ ” Zadan revealed. “We said that the FBI would have to do a background check. She said, ‘I don’t care. I want it to be real. I want this guy to walk in and not know he’s going to the Academy Awards.’ “”—
Pick her up and pretend you're going to throw her in the pool. She'll scream and fight you, but secretly, she'll love it. Hold her hand while you talk. Hold her hand when you drive. Just hold her hand. Tell her she looks pretty. Look her in the eyes when you talk to her. Protect her. Tell her stupid jokes. Tickle her, even when she says stop. When she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her. Let her fall asleep in your arms. Get her mad, then kiss her. Tease her and let her tease you back. Kiss her on the cheek. Kiss her on the forehead. Just kiss her. Let her wear your clothes. Go slow. Don't push anything. When you fall in love with her, let her know.
ok but when people say “that character isn’t canonically gay” when they’re talking about a character whose sexuality is never actually mentioned in the books/show/whatever. no. no actually u chose to infer that the character is canonically straight because u think straight is the automatic sexuality of all beings unless the word “gay” is in bolded size 60 font and that’s shitty
honestly the fact that there are 12 year olds on this website (or the internet in general) is kinda fucked up like i know people mature at different rates but if you’re 12 i don’t care how mature you think you are, you’re still 12
I can’t wait for the day that I get a small apartment in a big city with someone that I love. Like nothing excites me more, I find myself thinking about it at 3 am, my mind races, thinking about how we’ll decorate it. Be able to come home from work, make dinner together, hug them from behind while we wait. Eat and watch our favorite shows, go to bed, have mindblowing sex and not have to worry about being apart because we have each other in our arms every night when we drift off to sleep.